Lower Cafeteria Prices
Anyone who has been to school has been in a cafeteria, and has most likely bought the school lunches. But, has anyone noticed the prices, and how they keep increasing?
At Bristol Community College, the first thing I noticed was the cafeteria prices were much higher than I had expected. My initial thought was “How am I going to afford this?” As a full time college student, I am only able to work two days a week due to my schedule. The money I earn goes towards gas and car insurance, the money left over, if any, goes towards what I need such as food. Therefore, I cannot afford to spend $5.50 for a meal, not including a drink, four days a week.
This increase has been occurring in high schools nationwide. The costs have been going up by as much as twenty five cents per year, such as at Apponequet Regional High School in Lakeville, Massachusetts, where I attended. This does not sound like much, but in high school, where many people do not have jobs, it can be. An article from The New York Times states, “Under the child nutrition bill signed by President Obama in December… School districts are required to start bringing their prices in line with what it costs to prepare the meals” (Santos).
Simply lowering the cost of the food may not be feasible cost wise for the college or other schools, but there are other ways to ensure that students will be able to afford lunch. Instead of having to buy a water bottle for $1.50, the school could put a water cooler in the cafeteria. This would not be a major financial burden for the school, and it would cut prices for the students. Another solution is to start a meal plan. Instead of paying daily for food, students could have the option to pay weekly. The students who decide to pay weekly would pay a flat rate that would save them money. For example, if meals cost $5.50 per day, the students who decide to pay per week will pay a flat rate of $20. If the average student goes to school four days a week, they will be saving $2 a week. This in combination with the water cooler could be saving the student up to $8 per week, while not placing a huge financial burden on the school.
Post-Write: Right now, this is just the bare minimum of the paper. I state a problem, I provide some research, and I give a solution. I think it is a pretty good start. I have to provide more evidence, such as more quotes and information from the source I have, and maybe another source. I also need to add a conclusion. Would the solution I provide be a feasible one? How can I make the argument stronger?
Name: Micah Gilliam
ReplyDeleteDate: November 7, 2011
Partner’s Name: Sarah Machado
Paper Reviewed: Proposal – “Lower Cafeteria Prices”
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
This assignment asks us to write a proposal showing a serious problem, preferably a local one, and the benefits of your solution to the problem as well as a call to the reader to take action. We are also tasked with providing at least one reputable news source to help back up our arguments. The paper must be at the very least three pages long, with roughly seven-hundred words. The final requirement for this paper is to identify the target audience, such as a political pundit, the dean of the school, or even your peers. In doing so you must also clearly show what it is that they can do to help.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
My partner has met the stated requirements of this essay and has provided an interesting and relevant topic. She cited a viable news source in her work and was able to use that quote to add credibility to her own arguments. Her context is as previously stated very relevant to today’s student and she has obviously done her research on the topic. One passage that works particularly well is in the second paragraph”the first thing I noticed was the cafeteria prices were much higher than I expected. My initial thought was “How am I going to be able to afford this?”” It brings the problem into focus quite well and gives us a personal touch.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
The area that really needs work is her call to action. The reason it needs work is quite simple, there isn’t one. This being the case I cannot pick a specific passage from it to illustrate my point. However other areas that need work can be found throughout the essay in minor grammatical errors such as “This in combination with the water cooler could be saving...”
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
The first question that comes to mind is who is the target audience? Are we to assume that it is directed toward all students or is it directed toward someone in authority? Secondly, is the quote trying to say that the schools are charging too much for lunches or not enough? This is not clearly explained and I think providing more context from the source would help clear this up. A suggestion I have is to write the conclusion with a call to arms, without it we as readers are left hanging so to speak.