Be Your Own Person
I believe in being your own person. Although, this was not always the case. Fitting in was once the most important thing to me. I always wanted to shop a the same stores, wear the same clothes, and act the same as everyone else. I wanted to be included in what I thought was the popular group. I thought the only way for people to like me was to blend in with the crowd.
That was in middle school. I spent all my time worrying about what other people thought of me, that I wasn't letting people see who I really am. I wasn't being honest with myself either. I was trying to convince myself that I was something I am not.
At first, high school wasn't much different. I would find the people who I thought were popular and try to fit in with them. Most of the time I would feel uncomfortable because I keep thinking, “This isn't me.” I stayed silent most of the time in fear that I would say the wrong thing. I just wanted to be liked....
But then one day it hit me. Somewhere between wanting people to like me and being something I am not, I met some people who made me change my view. I was not afraid to open up to them, or constantly worrying about the right thing to say. I was able to be myself. They accepted me for who I am, not who I was trying to be. They became my best friends throughout high school. They introduced me to new people who I felt comfortable around. I didn't feel as though I needed to impress them. I could tell they liked me for me.
Those friends taught me that it was not a bad thing to stand out in the crowd. They taught me that it is alright to dance when no one else is dancing, or to sing when everyone knows you can't. They taught me that you should wear the clothes you like, not the ones you think other people will like. Forget about the people who don't like you, and stay with the ones that do. I've learned that it is not worth it to put on an act. You will feel more comfortable with yourself, and you will find true friends if you just be your own person. This I believe.
Reviewer’s Name: Kaitlin Conlon
ReplyDeleteDate: September 19 2011
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed: Sarah Machado “Be your Own Person”
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
The objective of the paper was to write about a personal belief, something that you truly believed in and use a story related to your life to show the importance of this.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
In her first paragraph she clearly stated her belief and it made a connection to the everyday person because so many of us try to fit in. “I believe in being your own person. Although, this was not always the case. Fitting in was once the most important thing to me. I always wanted to shop at the same stores, wear the same clothes and act the same as everyone else……”
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
The beginning of her 2nd paragraph need a little work at the beginning but other then that her paper was very good.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
Question:
1) Is there a reason why you tried so hard to fit in like something you saw that made you not want to stand out?
2) What kind of things did you think “fit in” and what was something that did not?
One suggestion is to fix what we talked about.